My friend called me around 5am yesterday. I thought it was a mistake and so I didn’t answer. Then he called again around 7am and this time I answered. “Where are you breaking your fast?” He asked me without even saying hello. Bewildered, I told him I would be home. Then he said: No today, you will come to my home for Iftar. She is cooking and I told her you will be here with me. But I want to be romantic and make her happy so I need your help. I asked him if he has any ideas and he said yes:
He said He wants the lights to be off when she comes in. Then he is going to yell: Light!!! as soon as she comes in and when she gets over her surprise, he would tell her: My love, who needs Nawec when they have you? Then he grins waiting for me to tell him what I think. I thought it was a corny plan and stupid romance but my friend has very bristle feelings and I didnt want to hurt his ego. So I asked him at what point do we actually switch on the light and he said he bought some candles and so it will be a candlelight Iftar. I imagined myself sitting in his living room in the dark, with this guy, hungry and waiting for this woman to show up just so he can yell: Light! And then we were to use candles to break our fast because that is his idea of a candlelit dinner. I guess we all have different ideas on what constitutes romance! I asked him what is her name and he told me his marabout said he must never mention her name until they meet. I asked him how did they meet and he said his cousin-sister-aunt in Atlanta Kassa Ceesay hooked them up. He said he paid Kassa 5000 Dalasis!!! The things some family members do to each other!!!
Anyway, around Iftar, my friend called me again and asked if I showered and gotten dressed and I said yes I would be on my way. Then his concern was that I must wear a suit and tie! Told him I don’t have anymore of those but I assured him I was dressed nicely. I got to his house and he said the mysterious lady will be there in 30 minutes. So he turned off all his lights and we sat in the dark. He insisted that we not talk and that I cannot be on my cellphone because that will light up the house. The only light I want is her brightness, he insisted. I said alright.
We waited, and waited and waited and waited. No one showed up. It was hot and we were both sweating profusely because he wanted no noise so the fan was off. We waited until 30 minutes after the time she was supposed to arrive and I asked him if we should keep waiting. He insisted we not pray because she may come while we are praying and he will miss his romantic moment. I told him I must pray and after some back forth, he insisted on being the imam so that he can also listen for her footsteps. I agreed. Our foreheads were on the ground when he yelled “LIGHT” and we both looked to the door but it was nothing but a gust of wind. He said if I wanted to pray, I must go outside but he is not taking any more chances. I prayed, and as I entered his house, he yelled “LIGHT” and then got angry when he realized it was me!!! Your footsteps sound like a woman walking he screamed!!!
We sat down and resumed waiting. I told him to call her or text but he said no, if you want a good woman, you never rush her!!! We waited. I was hungry as heck and this guy will not even allow us to drink water because he did not want to miss his romantic moment. Long story short, the woman never showed up and by 10pm, I could not take it anymore. I told him I was leaving. He was angry!!! You are selfish Alagie. You are a very jealous man. In fact I don’t need you! Go home and never come here for Iftar again… I sat there looking at him sadly…
Then he gets on the phone and I heard him say: Kassa Ceesay, I thought you said she was coming today for Iftar. But you didnt tell me that. I gave you 5000 and if that was not enough, you should have told me… so she will come tomorrow … hahaha… ok I’ll be here waiting. Send me your account number! I will find another friend for tomorrow…
He concluded by looking at me with evil eyes!!!
It was then that I realized my friend actually never spoke to the mysterious lady. This was all a machination of his cousin-sister-aunt Kassa Ceesay!!! What badibunkas do to each other!!
The next day he called again and said he could not find any friend and I should be there for iftar today. He said Kassa swore that the lady will be there!!!
Should I go there today too??? He said he has more romantic plans but I feel traumatized already!
Written by Alagie-Saidy Barrow
