Sexual Harassment is an abomination and Men should be ashamed that they are the perpetrator
How the powerful use their money, position, authority, influence and celebrity status to abuse, harass, exploit women and girls who trust them, who they are supposed to protect, whose dignity they are supposed to preserved. Such men are a disgrace to humanity and deserve to be locked up in hell. Patriarchy, masculinity and the low status of women we must fight.
Who do such men think… they are that they can grope, stalk, harass and rape with impunity? What society would condone such sexual aggression? What work place will not put in place mechanisms to protect women and girls who seek employment from it?
The stories of sexual harassment coming out of America, by the high and mighty and against trusting women, are both chilling and good. Good that the society is believing the women. Good that the women are having the courage to speak out.
I wish some woman or lady will start the #MeToo campaign here in the Gambia, would have the courage to speak out against her sexual harassment by a Chief Executive or human resource manager of that bank or GSM service provider, by the Executive Director of that NGO, by that Permanent Secretary or Minister, by that religious scholar, that powerful man, that teacher, that youth leader, that man who society thinks can do no wrong because he is a philanthropist.
Anecdotal evidence points to quid pro quo sexual harassment in The Gambia as well as hostile work place harassment, sex and love relation for employment. Research evidence show the existence of sexual harassment in our educational institutions, sex for grades and other favours.
But alas, ours is that society which still thinks a woman or girl cannot be raped or sexually molested without her consent; a society that thinks women cannot be trust; a society which regards women as the intemperate temptress who are responsible for the Adam’s gall from grace; a society which places women at the lowest rung of the social ladder; a society which blames the way a woman is dressed and not the abuser or rapist.
That is our society, one in which women are still finding their voice, much more their feet and feelings. That is our society, one which still thinks a woman’s place is at the hearth, on the menu, as follower, a flower to be prized.
That society will not prosper which marginalises, disregards, discriminates, abuses, exploit and rape half its population, half which holds its sky.
Anecdotal evidence points to quid pro quo sexual harassment in The Gambia as well as hostile work place harassment, sex and love relation for employment. Research evidence show the existence of sexual harassment in our educational institutions, sex for grades and other favours.
Women are 51% of our population and female: male ratio is 100:98. You think you can suppress that chunk for Long and prosper?
Et Tu Njundu?!
Bro, I am now a 62 year old man, but when I was 40 I was sexually harassed by a woman boss I was NOT interested in and driven from my job!
While I was MD at Daily Observer, my reporters sent to cover a certain “powerful” lady were harassed.
On the other hand, I was in Jarra Soma visiting the late Baba Jobe at his home and I had great fun watching this young girl blatantly seduce Baba!! She absolutely laid it on – and she was beautiful! As Shakespeare puts it “When a woman woes, what woman’s son can sorely leave her until she has prevailed?”
I am afraid Njundu, the scenario is not that different in the #metoo movement in the USA: many now accusing Weinstein sought out and woed the man because they wanted him to make them famous and give them a career … just look at the body language in the photos these women took with Weinstein at the time.
I am not minimising the issue of harassment at work – and the fact that in The Gambia mostly men still wield the power. Your role as Chair of CPA clearly gives you a vastly superior experience of what is going on in The Gambia … but I would advise The Gambia, and any other African country, not to copy USA trends on matters of morality. Look at the USA President and his porn-stars … WHO WERE PAID PROSTITUTES AT THE TIME but now make headlines because they want to make more money. Is that the way we wanna go? Sorry but #METOO is not for me.
I presume Njundu does not bother coming back to his published work to interact with his readership for follow-up matters. Our cultural, social and political commentators are doing a poor job of engaging in critical debates with their audiences that are necessary for this transition period. I respect that choice too, even though it’s a rather weak form of participating in discourses. Luntango and Baba Galleh are the exceptions.
Yet, I have a few questions for Njundu with the hope that someone somewhere will alert him to my enquiries.
1) What role has race played in the birth of the #METOO movement?
2) Which demographic group has been most subjected to gender violence and sexual predatory practices since time immemorial and why is that never headline news?
3) In your opinion Njundu, why do we have to copy a #METOO movement that started in the US with a totally different culture and social setting?
4) Can’t we have our OWN mechanisms of righting our wrongs without resorting to copying from the West, permanently?
5)Are you insinuating the phenomenon of gender based violence and sexual harassment in The Gambia is epistemologically similar to that in the western world? What are the variances?
In anticipation of a cordial engagement, I remain.
We can all agree that sexual harassment is evil. Where it happened is not relevant to the negative psychological impact on the victims. A severely abused woman in Kanilai is traumatized as an abused woman in Manhattan. The important issue is wherever however whenever it occurs, we all must stop it. Men especially bears a huge responsibility to put an end to this insanity, remember one day, the victim may be your precious daughter.
A distant cousin works for the government. She tells me stories of her boss asking her out repeatedly, making inappropriate sexual and suggestive comments and finally penalizing her for not sleeping with him. She now works for a NGO in Dakar. This story is illustrative of the harassment faced by Gambians women daily. These brave women only ask to be left alone to do their jobs in peace so they can care for family.
This is pervasive in our society. Case in point, a high level government attorney requesting sex from the wife of a notorious killer, a Jammeh enabler to help fix the case of her very guilty husband.
Njundu, I too wish we have #MeToo campaign in The Gambia. Some of our men are quite irresponsible and reckless, most “view women as a piece of meat”. We must protect the most vulnerable members of our community. It’s our duty, all of us to do so.
God Bless The Gambia.
@ Dr Sarr: “Case in point, a high level government attorney requesting sex from the wife of a notorious killer, a Jammeh enabler to help fix the case of her very guilty husband”.
Luntango: Wow Doc, didn’t that was what it was about!!!
@Dr Sarr: “Njundu, I too wish we have #MeToo campaign in The Gambia. Some of our men are quite irresponsible and reckless, most view women as a piece of meat”.
Luntango: Agree Doc, viewing women so disrespectfully and harassing them is appalling. But #MeToo is American – we need a homegrown solution to the problem.
@Dr Sarr: “We must protect the most vulnerable members of our community. It’s our duty, all of us to do so”.
Luntango: That is all well and good and achievable for our educated and employed middle-class daughters. The vast majority of the victims are the children of the poor – without any voice, power or support. Do you think that Mr. Njundu Drammeh, Chairman of the Child Protection Alliance, will put his and his children’s livelihood on the line to challenge, for example, the “powerful government attorney”??????
Dida, concerning sexual harassment, I am not looking at Njundu to fix this pervasive societal problem, rather I am looking at you, Andrew, Lamin, Samba, Babu Soli and all you decent Gambian men to stand together and speak with one voice against this evil.
What is good for one Gambian girl will be good for all. Rich or Poor we are in this together.
God Bless The Gambia.
Start a #METOO campaign in The Gambia and you might succeed in throwing a few men behind bars for sexual harassment, rape and abuse.
In the long run, the campaign will fissle out leaving in its trail broken families and marriages (remember, women unfortunate bear the brunt of the burden in such a scenario), a system that is both in jurisprudence and technicality not equipped to handle the forensic challenges it shall face, for example. If your aim is justice, there is a way to begin the revolution. METOO in The Gambia will just be an impulsive adventure.
I think the arguments forwarded by Njundu and Doc. I. Sarr for such a social movement are very superficial. Why do I say that?
The METOO movement was originally conceived by a black woman, whom as it turns out, has molested boys and groped men who were her underlings. She has apologized for this alleged conducts and life moved on.
But then the most interesting thing happened!
The campaign became hijacked by powerful white women to do the thing white people do best: milk the narrative dry to its bones.
I would like to continue this conversation but only if Njundu will come out to answer some pertinent questions. I know he owes me a dime to answer to my call, not withstanding, I will be waiting patiently for our paths to cross one day.
Lamin do you have an issue with #StopsexualharassmentinGambia. I assume not. That’s the issue. You guys must take a stand for or against sexual harassment.
You’ll have to do a better job than changing the name of a movement that was created in the US for white women and for the white establishment to continue feeding on the “perceived” victimhood narrative of white women. For you to be able to make sense of the above, ask yourself how many black women get harassed, sexually abused and raped a day in the world.
Compare that imaginary number to the number of white women raped and abused a day.
Now, for your info, the white establishment since its foundation, has never recognize that the black woman is rapeable. She is seen to be always willing. Not only that, if she is sexually taken advantage of, it’s her fault because she is considered to be the natural seductress. She is always ready and willing.
Now you go figure out how and where is the white woman position in this constellation and why. Doc, that’s your homework. Am doing mine right at this moment. We continue…..
White feminist have always exploited the suffering and hisyory of black women to their advantage. How? By dominating the narration, the narrative and the meta discourse space.
And your insistence on any kind of hashtag campaign is doing nothing but helping them legitimize their parasitism.
Doc, I made an effort to go over some of our most passionate exchanges here on the fabrics of race, gender and sexuality, and never have you in a single moment mentioned the following lexica: race, black man/men, black woman/women, reparations, white privilege, black suffering etc. Think about it because it has something to do with your psychology.
Still, I encourage you to keep on speaking up for our women folk, though in more focused and black conscious terms.
I have taken a stance to fight for black women in both rhetorical and more active ways. I don’t need to tell anyone here how I go about that. And it’s a life long undertaking I have vowed to pursue.
Still waiting for Njundu when I will drop the pay load. No, am not going into combat with him. It might just turn out to be the mother of all debates we’ve ever had on this platform.
In the service of The Gambia and Africa, I remain.
Let’s not bury our heads in the sand.
Majority of our women endure toxic work environment as a result of the irresponsible and illegal conduct of our men. Both active and passive. On a daily basis our daughters and mothers go to work to be harassed and touched against their will. In both public and private setting this toxic environment is pervasive.
These nasty men will sleep with anything in skirts. Married women are not exempt. Bottom line is this, ask any woman in Gambia what their experience is and you get a earful. No, these women are not liars, and they are not engaging in some diabolical agenda. They are victims.
#MeToo is a label. Any label will do, who cares.
How wishing and hoping that we do something about sexual harassment and assault in The Gambia is legitimizing “their” parasitism is unclear to me, but sounds like an attempt to minimize sexual assault and muddy the waters. The real problem, deserving of our focus and attention is protection of The Gambian working woman.
God Bless The Gambian Women.
I have to say both you and I have one thing in mind; which is the liberation and progress of our women folk in all spheres of life. I guess we differ only in our methods and approaches.
Yours is informed by a white supremacy agenda and the many American fallacies that you have come to believe in so much. Mine is informed by a pro black and pan Africanist doctrine. Full stop!
There need not be a dead lock situation on which approach functions.
Only putting both to work will prove the strength of one approach above the other.
Am putting mine to work and it’s producing phenomenal results.
Starting it small and growing it step by step is the course I have decided to take in my own little community since before anyone dreamt of a hashtag to revolt.
Lamin, Dr Sarr needs to read Dr Angela Davis’s classic entitled “RACE, SEX & CLASS”. Send her a copy on both our behalves.
I have raid all Prof Davis books, I assume you are referring to Women, race and class. Not sex. Now Dida we know where your mind is. I know the Prof well and respect her.
LoL! I give you that one Doc!
For the last time Gambians, please understand that pan- Africanism is inclusive and progressive believe in harnessing economic and political resources of ALL people of African decent for personal and collective growth and success. We can all define our own objectives.
There are several ways to attain our self defined objectives.
As a person of color my objective is to:
1. Make Gambia food secure
2. Entrust the education of our children to our own
3. Make us economically stable and self sufficient
4. Help us build strong institutions
5. Make our country secure and safe
I personally believe how we accomplish this is by hard work, determination and self responsibility. I believe we are the Captain of our own destiny. I don’t wallow in self pity, blame others for my failures and point fingers. I say Gambia must act bodily. survive and thrive by the power and intellect of her sons and daughters. That is not white supremacy agenda. That is a proud Gambian agenda.
Dr, this points you make are absolutely great, unquestionable and should be etched on a TABLET OF STONE like Moses’s Ten Commandments.
But the topic under discussion is the #METOO movement, an American invention. Lamin’s point was simply put by Dr Angela Davis in her above-mentioned book and it could be re-phrased as follows:-
“I AM A WOMAN; A BLACK GAMBIAN WOMAN; A POOR GAMBIAN WOMAN WHO STRUGGLES TO FEED HER FAMILY”.
Now Doctor Sarr, Dr Davis’s is a wholesome three-dimensional approach to FEMINISM & THE RIGHTS of WOMEN.
#METOO’s approach is narrow and single-dimensional and is not interested in Dr Davis’s 2nd and 3rd dimensions … because it is overwhelmingly a Holywood Middle-Class white women driven thing. #METOO is devoid of a RACE ANALYSIS and a CLASS ANALYSIS.
Why is Dr Sarr reluctant to approach the matter from this multi-dimentional approach? That is the mystery for Dida and Lamin!
Then you missed the point Dida. I am way past #MeToo. “ Comparatione Emphasin “. Only used to make my point.
The narrative is “ I am a proud Gambian womean….not poor…
Concerning the Professor, I know her personally and have had several conversations with her, she is a progressive, hardworking woman, who like I believe in personal responsibility. She is a feminist, but she never blame or point fingers. She sails her own ship and determine her own destiny in all things.
Lastly Dida, what will ultimately make Gambia great is the realization that, “ there is more than one way to the stream “. We must all work together but understand that we may not always agree.
Dr Sarr, in a foregoing piece, you asked that Dida, Lamin, Babu and myself to make our stand known on sexual harassment in Gambian society.
Here’s my position.
I have Zero tolerance for sexual harassment.
I raised three daughters here in the US on the following values:
1. NO depending on a man
2. Be nice and courteous but firm.
3. A college degree(s) is a must and non negotiable in our household.
4. When you meet your suitor, of any origin, make him understand that you bring 50% to the table.
5. Dedicate yourself to the service of your fellow human beings whenever you can.
6. Strive for excellence and self-actualization.
However, Dr Sarr, the womenfolk are also culpable in causing this stigma to fester in society but that’s a topic for another chapter as I have my own sad stories to tell about sexual harassment from women both in The Gambia and here in the US.
Women can sexually harass men also.
I think it is acceptable for a woman to depend on her husband and I teach my sons not to expect 50% contributions from their wives and I teach my daughter not to marry any man that expect her to contribute 50%. My daughter must be willing and happy to live up to the standard that her husband is capable of providing/can afford nothing more. I believe that a man is the head of the household any man that is incapable of taking care of a woman without depending on the woman’s income is not qualified to be married and any woman who is not content with what her husband can afford to provide is a bad wife.
Andrew you need to read the holy Qu’ran more closely regarding marriage instructions. lol.
Our daughters must be self sufficient as an insurance policy because there are very bad men out there. Education is an extremely important protective tool, but respect and obedience to a spouse is the bedrock of everlasting happiness.
You know what is going on in The Gambia. It is disgraceful, it is an epidemic. No one, woman or man should be subjected to what Gambian women go through.
Feminist Dads Take On Non-Feminist Mum:
Mrs./Dr. Isatou Sarr: “It is acceptable for a woman to depend on her husband and I teach my sons not to expect 50% contributions from their wives and I teach my daughter not to marry any man that expect her to contribute 50%”.
Mr. Dida Halake & Mr. Andy Pjalo: “We teach our daughters TO EXPECT ONLY 50% contributions from their partners and we teach our daughters not to marry any man that will not BE ABLE to contribute 50% to the partnership. If other daughters want to cut a different deal with their partners it is their right to do so”.
Doc you becoming unnecessarily strong headed for reasons I still can’t comprehend.
What you call “finger pointing” is nothing but calling a spade what it is. And that is- white people and the white system feeds on the suffering, cultures, inventions, history etc of black people and blackness without ever acknowledging it and covering it with white lies. To our detriment. Meaning stunted progress and minimal prosperity for us. They damn take the food out of our jaws.
Race, class and gender very much define the power structures, how power itself is distributed and manifested.
You are telling me the individual is capable of position him/herself in this matrix through hardwork, determination and mindset. This, is the American doctrine of a classless society that you have swallowed hook, line and sinker. This is the biggest lie of the 20th and the 21st century. What a pity that you have fallen for it.
I have learned a long time ago to focus my energy where it will be most useful. And coming to the realization that you are anti-black and out to defeat our cause.
You don’t even identify as one of us, choosing rather to be a woman of color. Go with peace, but go. We will just be fine without you.
You have made your choices known, i.e to be the white ally in the midst of black liberators. That has brought this conversation for me to its natural end until Njundu shows up.
And to all the “dismissive chauvinist” in Gambia. Know this I am a proud Gambian woman that cannot be intimidated and told who she is, what to do or where to go. Your condescending sexist comments does not bother me a bit.
I don’t think you need to justify yourself Doc. This is your testament:
There are several ways to attain our self defined objectives.
@Doc:
“My objective is to:
1. Make Gambia food secure
2. Entrust the education of our children to our own
3. Make us economically stable and self sufficient
4. Help us build strong institutions
5. Make our country secure and safe
I personally believe how we accomplish this is by hard work, determination and self responsibility. I believe we are the Captain of our own destiny. I don’t wallow in self pity, blame others for my failures and point fingers. I say Gambia must act bodily. survive and thrive by the power and intellect of her sons and daughters. That is not white supremacy agenda. That is a proud Gambian agenda.”
ABSOLUTELY. Print it and frame it.
Where is the KORAN in this sad even Doc? 20 years and the man just kicks her out of her home? Wow – and you want your daughters to depend on a man Doc! I give up on you Doc. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………..Banjul Man Divorces His Wife For Not Supporting His Brother Halla Samba In the Past Mayoral Election
A Banjul man has divorced his wife over political related marital dispute. Mamat Samba, a brother to Halla Samba, the defeated Banjul Mayoral Independent candidate, has decided to let go his long-time wife Yaa Fatou Mbye, on Saturday. This followed, his wife’s refusal to throw her support behind Mamat’s brother Mr. Halla Samba, in the just concluded Banjul Mayoral elections.
Mamat’s wife is Ebou Faye’s first cousin. Mr. Faye was one of the Independent Mayoral candidates for Banjul. Yaa Fatou supported Ebou Faye during the heated campaign, which never went down well with her in-laws.
It was during the weekend that the couple had parted company. They have been married for over twenty years.
It has been gathered that Mr. Samba’s two sisters allegedly engineered the divorce between him and his wife. One of his sisters is resident in Manchester, in the United Kingdom, while the other is based in the Gambia. They allegedly told Mamat that they don’t want to see his wife in their family home at Ingram street in Banjul, because of her refusal to throw her support behind their brother Halla Samba, in the just concluded Mayoral elections, two callers told this medium.
Yaa Fatou Mbye is a native of Tabacorroad Banjul. She could be seen packing her belongings on Saturday from the couple’s Ingram home in Banjul, while heading out to their family home at T-road.
Yaa Fatou Mbye herself is not comfortable going public with the story. She told her friends that she was divorced by Mamat because of politics. Mamat Samba could not be reached for his side of the story.
It was a sad day in Banjul. Politics has now been turned into a personal affair. Couples are divorcing each other because of politics.
In the Qur’an please read:
“Duties of Men”.
Men are the maintainers and protector of women.
This notion of split financial responsibility is the reason why there is so much discord and disrespect in the household. When you expect a woman to contribute 50% what you are saying unintended is you are an equal. That does not work. Women can’t love and submit to men they do not respect. For a woman total submission and love comes from security, respect and love from a man. Any man who insist on 50% from his wife will get something alright, but be careful what you ask for. You won’t like it, certainly not for long.
Dr Sarr says,
“I believe that a man is the head of the household any man that is incapable of taking care of a woman without depending on the woman’s income is not qualified to be married and any woman who is not content with what her husband can afford to provide is a bad wife”.
Now here’s where I have a problem with the learned Dr. I see a stark dichotomy in the foregoing statement!
I really don’t need religion to tell me how and why to do right in this world.
Why does your statement remind me of conversations that I’ve had with feminists over the years?
Dichotomy is a contradiction. Andrew is it the fact that a man should be the head or that a man who is incapable of taking care of his family without relying on his wife Income should not get married or that women should be careful marrying men that depend on 50% shared expenses or is it the reliance on the holy Qur’an for life guidance. Not sure I understand.
In the sense that a avowed feminist and an independent woman still wants her man to carry her on the shoulders and run with her. One that also offers strongly worded choice words at men.
There’s the dichotomy in my mind.
I have a colleague of Hispanic origin that calls all men, excuse my language here, “Pissing Dogs” albeit that she’s married to an African-American man. The husband makes good money and takes good care of the family. Now that’s worrisome too!
Dr Sarr, you may have said stuff about men on this medium that made me cringe in discomfort.
And I’m not taking any fight to your doorstep as some are wont to do. Haha.
I do not wear Hijaab to work, but wear it to most social and religious functions . My daughter wears it by “ choice” I think mostly because she thinks her parents approve of it. I still don’t see the contradiction Andrew. Women wear many hats.
I had the pleasure of meeting a woman who was at the time the Chief of State in her country. During dinner at her home, she cooked and cleaned an served her husband with pleasure. I will not reveal who she was, but I promise you, you will be at a serious disadvantage if you cross her at work.
This is a valuable lesson for men. Besides I am not done with some on this forum. As you know I have every intention of giving Babu Soli a beat down when I see him in person. I still love him as a brother, but he earned it. So is Lamin. He deserve a beating and a dinner afterwards, just because.
I will cook for you anytime Doc, just give me a shout when in Notting Hill.
By the way Dr Sarr, I happen to believe, on moral values, that women shouldn’t be made to wear a Hijaab, through veiled threat or otherwise, against their wishes.
Where do you stand on that issue?
Andy, my daughter wears a HIJAB – but SHE decided to because her friends do. I don’t care either way. It is 100% her choice – and she can discard it tomorrow if she wishes (though I fear she never will!)
Andy, Dr Sarr:- We are banging heads here unnecessarily!
………………………………
Dr. Sarr has her RELIGIOUS view as follows:-
“Qur’an … Duties of Men: Men are the maintainers and protector of women”.
………………………………
Andy & Dida have a SECULAR view as follows:-
“Women (incl. our daughters) should be their own ‘maintainers’ and it is up to society and the law to protect EVERYONE”
………………………………
Let us AGREE-2-DISAGREE; Be & Let Be; PEACE!
Peace Luntango!!
We agree to disagree.
All settled.
Hey Dida, what’s on the menu?
Kutfo or Chebu Djenn?
Better still, Doro Whott
@Andy: “Hey Dida, what’s on the menu?”
@Dida: I am a gentleman Andy; the “menu” is strictly between me and Dr Sarr.
Remember Dida that Lamin says, “Good to know that Andy’s lurking around”.
I like to do just that with my BAKENNI BUKI (Wolof, as the hyena’s sense of smell)! So Achtung (German) Dida!
Verboten! Babu!