(JollofNews) – Jammeh: First I beseech yester’s Tuti Faal and chide today’s Zeinab. And to Halima I commend a path to Halifa’s heart, if fate needs only wishes to hatch its results. Sallah is what they both share–a happenstance for my bloom or gloom. This, all in dreams of a return home. But a drop these are in Gambia’s ocean of my crimes. If wrong could be monetized to drachmas, the accounts of mine shall but swell to accretion and infect the land to her peril.
Obiang: What names these are that tend to paint the heart’s variety on thy face this hour– the despondency, the fret, and the melancholy? Halima thou tend to pronounce, yet with colorful remorse, and Halifa with confident fright. Who can that Halima be?
Zeinab enters through back door without Jammeh noticing.
Jammeh: At eighteen, I ravished her damsel existence as was my wont with many a woman. Such was her vulnerability that even deactivated conscience canst, but dole out Dollars to her lap. Thereafter, a fair maiden was jettisoned for Zeinab’s rightful wrongs. For veritable Halifa–aye, the phonetics in the name and the humility the bearer carries will make a better Gambia. Perchance he shall prevail on the coalition to let me fester not in banishment.
Zeinab: Her name on thy lips again this abode shall crumble to dust!
Jammeh: For the vixens, let that assume precedence over the clock’s next tick! My host counts no offense, but words matter not in hell, neither deeds wholesome nor glorious language.
Zeinab: (To Obiang) He measures your hospitality to hell’s welcome–this ungrateful guest of unaccounted origin.
Jammeh: Excuse her damned deductions. But my exit from Gambia was a retribution from hell. Like a century old spell, I’m purged to the fore–for birds to cherish sylvan territories and reach for boughs low and high; for flowers to quietly admit their love to the morning sun; for sweet maidens to rest pretty faces on chests of deserving grooms; for bows of free speech to finally find arrows of free expression; for heads of households to be restful on late night pillows with peaceful assurances from heads of security agents; for connoisseurs to savor local delicacies to visceral delight. My host, I pray, misappropriates not the fair judgment of my catharsis.
Obiang: Wielding power I tutor my son who now receives pressure from France and other faces pale; losing it thou may coach me on. Only that I too keep a stock of human skulls filled with virgin blood, deadly fangs of a black mamba, boiled sacrum and viscera of an infant. If power is patentable, I shall be the first to pay its cashiers. But that without, we court the dark blessings of preternatural forces.
Jammeh: Beware of fake custodians of fate. They shift punctuations of the mathematics of God to soil the hands of men like us. O scribes of transcripts kept in hell, allow me snatch mine to wipe it clean. And beware, O man, of a woman sworn to extravaganza.
Zeinab: And a man that hides even corpses of his victims.
Jammeh: Be more mindful of a consort privy to such graves, but laments them not as long as her purses bloat.
Zeinab: Did I order Ello Jallow dead?
Jammeh: Did you abandon me for it?
Zeinab: Haruna Jammeh, Masireh Jammeh, Deyda Hydara, Daba Marena, Jassacha Kujabi, Alpha Bah, Basiru Barrow, Chief Manneh, Kanyiba Kanyi, Solo Nkrumah, Solo Sandeng–do I proceed? To be Jammeh, verily, is to secede from reason and be gory, dark, and occult.
Jammeh: And to be Zeinab is to devour all such description yields. Didst thy conscience return from an 18 year vacation? Wasn’t it thy avocation to irrigate from Gambia’s finances? Had thou been conservative with such trips foreign, Ello Jallow might still be breathing.
Zeinab: My crimes are barren where thine flourish with quintuples or more. Ello had to perish under surreptitious maneuvers?
Jammeh: His love thou secretly nurtured to let me rave to the grave. And from thee, this hour, a stabbing sermon of spontaneity?
Zeinab: It was thee that opted to consort with an 18-year old Halima–cursed be my tongue for pronouncing it.
Jammeh: And I brought thee when there was another. Listen, O leech-like spouse that binds to money! Tonight I wear cleaner lens to fathom that evil begets only another. The evil of a house for thee in Potomac is sprung of one that choked Gambia’s coffers. It was such that sacrilegiously beckoned Ello and thee to Maryland at the hemorrhage of my venom.
Obiang bids goodnight and exits
Zeinab: The same evil brought an 18-year old to thy sartorial pleasure. If Halima lost to my jealousy, Ello, earlier lost to thine too brutally. I see Barrow exacting retribution, but too economical with it as to let thee live.
Jammeh: If my crimes preside over my burial, they shall return to prosecute thee for being paramountly party.
Enter messenger
Messenger: Yankuba Badgie, Malick Jatta, David Colley, and many more in Barrow’s shackles. What counsels thee for our trouble-makers on the ground?
Jammeh: APRC lived not on oxygen, but human blood and Gambia’s epithelium. It shall leave behind naught but cursed memory. And I, its fountain live to witness bleaker days. Not again do I ask for human skulls to burry spells, nor cowries to cast and sow hourly seeds of mischief. Announce me not, O Teodoro, to demons of thy longevity. Of what pleasure is that castle next to thee in Potomac? With it shall be rendered to ignominy all that bears this troubled name.
Zeinab: (Soliloquy) Be monolithic, money-mettled, O Suma! Unleash the same malignant spells of yours on the Obiangs as to siphon from their earnings with abandon. Wealth earned ill shall be spent ill. With money, Jammeh was a slave–without it less than one. If chanceth upon it, I shall make of the Obiang playboy a useful spendthrift.
Jammeh: By the heavens, thou aren’t worth a philanderer’s soiled linen. Thou art sure to leave me sooner than the world freezes my assets. Forgive me, O Gambia!
Ends
Nietzsche: “God is Dead”
God: “Nietzsche is dead”
Jammeh: “Mandinkas will never rule Gambia again”
Mandinkas: “Jammeh will never rule Gambia again”
By Gambiano
Does it mean that this Cocaine President has got away with thousands of cold blooded murders??
A hypocrite in all sense of the word – as a supposed Muslim he should be ashamed of himself and return the stolen wealth and stand in court and admit his murderous ways
i don’t think, honestly, that Gambians have time for an impersonation of a would be Jammeh, probably the crudest of frauds this part of the world will ever see.
Like Charles Taylor, Jammeh deserves to be banished, and his image obliterated from the collective memory for ever. He is not to be exulted with verses from the Koran, or indeed any holy book. We will never again witness an impostor of such “grandeur”. May his soul live in everlasting torment. We don’t want to see that rake ever back in the Gambia. I refer to myself as the luckiest dude to ever trod this earth, because, i have actually never met Jammeh in person – not within a 1000kms, I was determined to keep my distance. And the first time i had him say anything was in 2015, and like all vagabonds, he too had the dreaded silky voice, and it was at then that i started calling myself lucky for getting way when I could, for given my temperament, I would have liked to stuff it up his spine with fatal consequences for me the most likely scenario- s I would have been lucky to get a shallow grave, let alone a 9 foot one! Yet this day I still refuse to share a continent with the scoundrel, even if the saying that “it takes all kinds to make a continent” is right. Not so unfortunate were the dozens, if not hundreds of Gambian youths who had no options left except to take the back way – but spare a thought also for the deserted villages, stripped of their, mostly, younger men, heaven knows how the senior, or infirm, or their women folks managed. That guy was a brute and does not deserve a mention in these pages, except as such. We would rather quote the Satanic verse which say “may his soul live in everlasting torment” far away from this once again, “smiling coast” – the Gambia our homeland.