The first person they called was Hamat!
Africell: Honorable Excellency Hamat NKLMZB Bah. My name is marketing manager for Africell and I am calling because we want to donate 12 million Dalasis to the govment of The Gambia.
Hamat: Eh, boy, did you say 12 million Dalasis? Who else have you called? Don’t play with me deh Mr Market manager!
Africell: You are the force one we called honorable excellency minister of tourists and cultural heritage.
Hamat: (Robbing his hands in anticipation). Ok, Don’t call anyone else. I need to tell my Bandam Hadama, the president, first of first and we will get back to you. Do you hear me? Don’t call anyone else until you hear from me Hamat NKLMZB Bah… I myself the minister will call you. Do you understand? Good!
Hamat hangs up and proceeds to call Barrow:
Protocol: The Barrow Stay House, how can I assist you gentleman or madam!
Hamat: Who is this? I want to talk to my broda Excellent Hadama!
Protocol: He is observing social and physical distancing and has been asleep since last week.
Hamat: Chei Gambia… konor eh, what about Touray, honorable VP Touray.
Protocol: Let me reroute you to her protocol sir.
Hamat: Mbimi, just put her on the phone now now now. This is urgent deh…
Isatou Touray: Yes Honorable Minister of Tourism and Culture Hamat, Salaam.
Hamat: VIP, Are you alone? I have very very very good news for you my VIP
Isatou: Yes, let me close my door. I don’t trust this security orderly people.
Hamat: Excellent. So you know I have been working since the perrsidang said we must all stay home. I called all the people I know and told them to contribute to our efforts to fight this sickness from China. Well, my efforts have finally borne fruit. We can all eat some fresh fruits now… heheheh, Africell is going to give us 12 Million dalasis as a result of my efforts. I wanted Hadama to know but they said he has been asleep since last week. I thought I should let you know as my first line supervisor.
Isatou: Did you say 12 million Honorable Hamat? Let me get my wig and I will go and get the check myself to give to the perrsidang Barrow.
Hamat: No, no, no: I have already made arrangements to pick up the check and I promise I will bring it straight to your office as my supervisor. After I come, we can talk…. Hehehehehe…. wallai Isatou wo Air Brussels Touray! You Brikama people don’t trust me… hehehe!!
Isatou: Hehehehe… you know Ramadan is coming… so we have to make sure the money gets in the right hands… if you know what I mean… So let me know when you go to pick up. I will have to represent the perrsidang. That is how he will like it… hehehehe….
Hamat: mutters under his breath: allah boni ma… then aloud he says: …. Heheheh… Ok VIP, I will let you know. You know I will never do anything behind your back. (Hangs up before Touray could say a word).
As soon he hangs up, his other phone rang:
Hamat: Hello, Who is dis (yelling and a bit angry that Isatou Touray insisted on coming to collect the check)
Mamboury: Honorable Minister, this is honorable minister of finance Mamboury… hehehe… how are you today?
Hamat: Eh, Njie kulli, Njie Jatta… I am doing very well. How are you Honorable Minister of Finance and Economy Affairs?
Mamboury: I am well indeed Honorable Minister of Tourism. Thank you. I am staying home and not interacting but working very hard as usual. So Africell…
Hamat: Afri who???
Mamboury: Africell called me and
Hamat: Who called you from there? Because I gave strict instructions
Mamboury: You gave who strict instructions?
Hamat: Don’t worry yourself my brother. Continue what it is you were going to say. I think I misunderstand,,, Billai eh …
Mamboury: Well, given my connections across the nation and indeed the wider world, Africell have agreed to donate 12 million Dalasis. I was trying to reach Barrow to give him the wonderful news but they said he has been asleep since last week.
Hamat: Yes, yes, yes… they called me too. I know them very very well. I have good good connections there. But do you know if they called anyone else? We don’t want this to be too public because it is to fight the new disease from China we have in the country. And in Islam, when you give charity, you have to do it privately.
Mamboury: but I already informed others
Hamat: (Angry) Who did you inform? Did you inform the Minister of Health?
Mamboury: No, I am not on speaking terms with him. I will not call him.
Hamat: Good, do not call anyone else. Leave this in my hands and I will make all the arrangements…hehehehe
As he turns around, there was Henry Gomez standing in his office:
Gomez: Bah Pullo Jayrri… baah ndey baah baye… lampa neet na Bamba fenj na… lampa baba murideen, maisa bigay kumba faaal… man bai faal lah… bah pullo… yowwit dey gestu sa raka nak… Ligay I’m not a minister anymore! Daykah bi for lal mungi dang! hamga neh cherreh bi sunj nyaha lenj koh seemay… ken dunu koh hejemal nak! When are you going to Africell to collect the money!
Hamat: Hakundeh ang eh Allah… who told you about it?
Henry: I am the most senior presidential adbisa… I know everything!
Hamat: But you cannot go deh Henry. Only the VIP, minister of finance and myself are going! Only senior and important sector ministers! But come here. (Whispers) Whatever I get, I’ll give you your sair. Billai wallie tallie… it’s just it’s against our culture for you to be there! I’m the minister of culture. I know
Henry: (Feeling Disappointed but determined). I’ll go and see the VP myself he thinks to himself. Rushes off to the VP’s office but was told she went to fit a new wig! Then he calls Hadama and was told he just finished lunch and taking a siesta. This Hadama, now it’s so difficult to see him. I only see him at rallies.
On the day of the presentation, Hamat gets ready and heads out early hoping the VP and other ministers will be late since they’re never on time for anything! To his shock and awe, they too were hoping he’d be late and so they got there early! Worse, there were other people there from the govment. No one knows who invited who but in Gambia if they tell you “no one knows but you”, you’ve just been sucker punched!
Africell Marketing Manager to his boss: Sir, we have gathered all of them here and they are waiting in the hall. They think we will be giving them a check. Hehehehe
Africell Boss: Let them wait. We are not going to give them anything. We will refund their transport allowance through phone credit. But we will not tell them anything until after they pose for the pictures already.
Ladies and gentleman, that’s my side of what happened even though I was not there and this is just meant for some fun!
Since it’s Ramadan and I’m trying to lessen my sins, I’ll not post part two of what happened while the ministers waited!
