Yaya: Alfa, I am not in the room. I am still in Equation Guinea. Maputo to be precise and waiting for Senegal to leave before I make my next move. Dr Brussels, how are you. My daughter looks up to you. The small matter we had was just a misunderstanding. I was never going to put you in prison. May be you can tell your friends to allow your sister Zainab to travel to America. For the sake of womanhood and feminism. I am sure you understand the needs of women more than these men do. Anyway, coalition members, regarding your himpasay, this is what I will do. My advice to Perrsidend Alagie is this. Since you are the president, go into the parliamentary elections alone. Do not join with any party. The party leaders will be happy and grateful so long as you keep them as ministers. Even if people you like do not win, don’t worry, your opposition will join you in the long run. Just find a way to corrupt them with gifts and money. You will see how easy it is for people to switch allegiance when they see money.The first thing you have to understand about a lot of these people is that they have zero principles. All the talking you see today and everyone running around playing angel is because I am not there. Do you remember how many people used to say “I am not into politics?” … Importantly Alagie, you don’t have to worry about any future elections because you will control the electoral commission.Most of the people are only concerned with election day and campaign time. But months and years leading to the elections, that is where you win. You can campaign, make the rules and have spineless civil servants campaign for you because they need your benevolence! If they refuse, sack them and lock them up for a few days…Elections are not lost or won on election days… You win before the elections start… How do you think I was able to win all my elections… if it was not for those soldiers that burned my bureau, I would still be perrsedend….Billai Wallie Tallie.. Second, some haters will get in your way and try to deny you the riches, fame and power the people gave you as perrsidend when they voted for you. I think you made a mistake in setting up some of these commissions. But it is never too late. You must find a way to make them weak deh. Whatever you do, do not let any anti-corruption commission come to fruition. It will lead to your downfall and the aftermath may not be pretty. Corruption is what will get you the support you need to stay in power. The people only believe in money and getting money. If you don’t have a lot of money, they will find the next rich presidential candidate. So be corrupt all you want and get all the money you need. It is God who put you in the position you will be occupying so if the people have a problem with you, they can take it up with God. Meanwhile, just issue an executive “direction” and ban any organization or individual that stands in your way to fame and riches. You are the perrsedend, you don’t have to obey any damn laws. You will realize that some of the men and women in colonial black robes and stupid looking things on their heads will judge the way you ask them to. If they refuse, sack them! Identify a few spineless ones among the bunch and make them prosecution and make them judges. If you cannot find one, let me know, there is an international registry of spineless judges I keep with me. You will find that many men and women will be willing to carry out your orders even if they are illegal. They have no agency! Again, you are dealing with people who are spineless and have no principles. Not everyone is an opportunist so you will have to identify the opportunists and let them taste some of the wealth and power. If they become cocky and arrogant, belittle them and lock them up! That’s how you gain humility in them. You must exploit them for who they are. If they become too big for their position, arrest them and lock them up in Mile Two. They will remember that you are the king when they come out and they will be obedient. And don’t forget your tribe. Why do you think some APRC people are still loyal to me? Support your tribe and your area of origin. They will support you back no matter what happens! Make sure to play other tribes against one another if you have to. Whatever you do, do not ban the APRC, my own evil party. The leadership is useless and spineless but they are nothing without me. And more importantly, you will need them later! But if any of their members act up, do not hesitate to arrest them and lock them up. They are afraid and you will hear them preach peace all the time. Besides, I am angry with some of them anyway because they betrayed me. I thought Saydem Njie was loyal. I thought the boy from Badibu was loyal. I thought my ambassadors were loyal. I mean they all promoted my agenda and supported it throughout the world. But again, you must remember that you are dealing with spineless people. These same people will sell you out to the next perrsidend if they think you are going down Alagie. They are so fickle. Fu toy rek lenyoh oot! Anyway once you ban your haters, have a team that will go after anyone that complains. Go to them in the dead of night and scare them. If you must, kill one or two of them, the rest of the population will be paralyzed by fear. The ones you kill won’t be defended by anyone and everyone will abandon their family. That’s how you maintain control! Through fear my friends. Fear. The panacea of all your political ills. Once your haters are powerless, you can go after the traitors that the NIA will identify for you. Get rid of all traitors. Embarrass them and teach the population a lesson. Don’t allow any human rights organizations to grow wings. On how to run your govment, look at some of the spineless men and women I created. You will see that they have zero principles and no loyalty except to their pockets and ego. They know how to steal and how to consolidate power. Get them close to you and Perrsidend Alagie Barrow, my people will make you rich beyond your widest dreams. Utilize the business community. If they do not donate things to you, take their business!
Me, The Newly minted President: Sweating and Furiously taking notes Buga Tubab: Hehehe this Yaya boy is brilliant. He must be going to a Fulani school in Guinea. Tell us a joke Yaya please!! Alfa Baa… Astafurrla… What this man is saying is……
